Open Post: Hosted By Stormy, The Cow Who Wants Nothing To Do With A Damn Nativity Scene 

December 14, 2017 / Posted by:

CBSPhilly has been all about a BREAKING NEWS story starring Stormy, a cow actress who had a pivotal role in a live nativity scene but kept busting out of there. Those actors, so difficult! Or Stormy is an atheist. Or maybe Stormy found out that Harvey Weinstein is trying to stage a comeback and signed on as producer of that live nativity scene and she wanted no part of it. Yeah, probably that.

Stormy has been part of a live nativity scene, featuring farm animals, at the Old First Reformed United Church of Christ in Philadelphia for about a week. Stormy the Thespian Cow has been wowing audiences and critics with her multi-layered performance as Cow #3, and everything was good until early this morning. Stormy was working the graveyard shift at the church when she decided that she had enough of that stupid scene. She escaped at around 2 in the morning and wound up on Interstate 95. Stormy probably realized that she was sick of doing Off-Off-Off-Off Broadway productions and was going to hitchhike to the Great White Way where she belongs.

The cops had to close down parts of I-95 to round Stormy up and take her back to the church. But four hours later, Stormy busted out of there again and ran into a nearby parking garage. Pennsylvania state troopers were able to lure her out with hay and they took her in. Here’s video of Stormy doing the perp walk out of that parking garage. FREE STORMY!

Stormy was eventually fired and taken back to her home at Manatawna Farms. I’m clapping for Stormy, because Baby Jesus is supposed to be the big star of every nativity scene, and yet look who is getting the most media attention. Well played, Stormy.

CBSPhilly says that she was replaced with her daughter Ginger. Oh now I see what really happened…

Stormy isn’t a difficult actress. Ginger probably whispered in Stormy’s ear, telling her that the nativity scene was just a set up by a local butcher and they were all about to become hamburger meat. So Stormy kept running out of there. And now the important role of Cow #3 belongs to that shifty, scheming Ginger. Ginger is the Nomi Malone of cows.

Pic: CBSPhilly

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