Hot Slut Of The Day!
CNN’s Magic Wall!
You may have woken up this morning to the sight of your bloody finger tips and your liver trying to work your front doorknob so it can make its escape, and that could mean one of two things: 1. It was just a regular Tuesday night for you. Or 2. You nervously chewed all your fingernails off and boozed until your liver fell out of your body while watching the Alabama Senate race between Doug Jones and the accused mall-terrorizing pedo with a horse named Sassy. Poor Sassy, it’s one thing to have an accused pedo on your back, it’s another thing to have an accused pedo who doesn’t know how to operate you on your back. That accused pedo probably would’ve been more into Sassy if she was a filly.
A little part of me was hoping that Alabama voters would unanimously write-in the name of their official state flower Phoebe Price (who is the leader of the Ho Stroll Party) and she’d become senator. But thanks to the black people of Alabama, especially black women, Gary Glitter won’t be performing via Skype from his prison cell at Alabama’s senator swearing-in ceremony, because the accused pedo lost. Doug Jones won by less than 2%. It was close.
I usually only watch CNN when I know that Ana Navarro is going to be on and think there’s a chance she’s going to read a trick, but I watched last night to see Hot Election Night Daddy John King go wild on his Magic Wall. CNN’s Magic Wall was invented by Jeff Han and it’s a giant multi-touch screen that you can write on and light up by touching it. Yeah, it’s pretty much a big ole’ iPad, but it’s still a mind-bogglingly technological wonder.
When John King and Teen Wolf’s grandpa Wolf Blitzer bring it out on any election night, you know shit is about to get every kind of serious. Wolf’s head hair, beard, brows, nose hair, eyeball hair and tongue hair (you know his hairy ass has fur in those places) nearly burn off from the heat blasting off of the Magic Wall as John King tames it. The Magic Wall Wizard wows us viewers when he zooms in areas, turns counties either red or blue with a touch and draws on it. John King and Wolf Blitzer get so excited when at the Magic Wall that I’m surprised they don’t hump it raw. Wait, what’s that white stuff on the screen?
Pic: @TommyMCFly