Last week, we all learned that not all heroes wear capes, some wear hoodies and basketball shorts. A man was caught on video saving a little rabbit from charbroiled death during the Thomas Fire in La Conchita, CA. At the time, the rabbit saver refused to talk about his do-gooding good deed on camera, which made many hos swoon out of their chonies. I mean, an animal-loving hero AND a non fame-whore who didn’t want to milk that moment for camera time? But then, two dudes came forward claiming they were the wabbit saver.
A dude named Oscar Gonzalez went to KABC-4 with the claim that he’s ready for his parade because he’s the one in the video that melted ice cold cunt hearts everywhere. Oscar, who said he’s from RuPaul’s favorite city Pacoima, said that he loves animals and didn’t care that he was risking burning himself up to save a rabbit. Oscar claimed that there were actually two rabbits near the fire and both made it out alive. But then a second dude went to KABC-4 claiming that he’s the real certified hero to rabbits. During his interview, 21-year-old Caleb Wadnan wore a hoodie and basketball shorts that looked a lot like the ones in the video and showed proof that he took the singed-up bunny to a vet. Caleb said the same thing that Oscar said, which is that he was too focused on saving the rabbit to care about the flames around him.
KABC-4 says that after an intense investigation (read: they blew up the video and compared the hero in it to Oscar and Caleb), they determined that Caleb is indeed the rabbit-saving hero of La Conchita! Caleb has now been given VIP entry to heaven while Oscar has been given VIP entry to the Ninth Circle for impersonating a rabbit-saver!
We are happy to report that the rabbit rescued from the fires in that now famous video is showing improvement but isn’t out of the woods yet. She suffered burns to her ears, feet, and tail.
But are we sure that’s really the rabbit and isn’t some Martin Guerre-like impostor? Seriously, that wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen. The worst thing would be if pictures came out of that rabbit waving a confederate flag at a rally for the rabbit chapter of the KKK.
Pic: Alyssa Schlange/@CAWildlife