Keaton Jones’ Mom Does Damage Control After Anti-Racist Backlash

December 12, 2017 / Posted by:

If there’s one story that encapsulates #thesetryingtimes in America right now, it’s the Keaton Jones saga. Over a 24 hour period, we went from “ah, no poor kid” to “lock her up” and I doubt we’ve yet to hear the last word on this story.

You’ll recall that yesterday everybody was talking about a video of young Keaton making an impassioned plea to end bullying, which his mom Kimberly Jones posted it to Twitter, supposedly at his request. Finally, an apolitical unifying cause we can all rally around to make ourselves feel better! Many celebrities picked up the thread and began retweeting Keaton’s video and offering to fly him out to various movie premieres. At this point, I started getting a no-good feeling in my gut because none of it made sense. That’s when the GoFundme campaigns started and the confederate flag reared its ugly head. Because, oh yeah it’s America and we can’t have nice things. Stupid, stupid, stupid (hits self in noggin repeatedly)!!

TMZ is reporting that two different GoFundme campaigns were started in support of Keaton, one by somebody who doesn’t know the family at all and one by Kimberly herself. The former raised $58,249 (for tissues to blow his nose with? As I said, none of this make any sense) before being suspended because nobody is really sure where that money was supposed to land. The latter, started by Kimberly “for Keaton’s Christmas gifts”, was shut down immediately because of “fraud concerns”. Monetizing this situation in any way is hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhighly suspect, I think we can all agree on that. But we’re not done Americaing yet!

About that confederate flag… yeah, those pictures that Kimberly posted of herself kicking it with American racism’s favorite flag are real. But according to People, Kimberly says that doesn’t mean she’s a racist herself. She’s got a perfectly believable explanation for those pictures.

“The only two photos — the only two photos on my entire planet that I am anywhere near a Confederate flag. It was ironic,” Kimberly said of the photos, adding that their (sic) was no racist intent behind the shots. “I’ve said I spent most of my life being bullied and judged because I wasn’t racist.”

Yes, Kimberly. That is also my understanding of how racism works. Non-racists get bullied, not the victims of racism. She spent her whole dang life sticking up for the underdog, non-racist white people! Later she doubled down on her unimpeachable convictions by stating “I mean I feel like we’re not racist”. Good enough for me! Give this gal her NAACP Allyship award already (shhh, don’t tell her that it doesn’t come with a cash prize).

Here are Kimberly and Keaton on CBS This Morning.

This whole mess is the reason why every morning when I turn on my computer I have to arrange an arsenal of protective gear which includes a bullshit detector (I check the batteries weekly), Eyeball BenGay (excessive eye rolling can cause swelling and strain on the muscles), a Detective LaToya ™ magnifying glass and a candy dish of various mood stabilizing pills. Only then am I able to enter wwwdottwitterdotcom into my browser without hurting myself.

Pic: YouTube

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