Hannibal Buress made some bad memories in Miami, Florida this weekend. I should be more specific, since I’m pretty sure “bad memories” is the state’s motto. TMZ says that Hannibal was arrested early Sunday morning for “disorderly intoxication,” an arrest that involved a pissed-off Hannibal getting pushed into a police car. Don’t let that “2 blessed 2 b stressed” face he’s serving in his mugshot fool you; Hannibal most certainly wasn’t thrilled to be getting arrested.
According to an arrest report obtained by The Miami Herald, Hannibal was in a neighborhood hosting Art Basel-related events. A reportedly red-eyed and alcohol-scented Hannibal exited a venue and asked a police officer to call him an Uber. When the cop refused to call Hannibal an Uber (must be a Lyft person), Hannibal allegedly got “angry and belligerent.” For once, Uber’s public relations team is breathing a sigh of relief that a messy situation happened before someone got in their car.
Hannibal returned to the venue with the officer following behind. The officer thought Hannibal was too drunk to be inside, so he was asked several times to leave. Once outside, the cop told Hannibal to leave the area five times, and he declined all five times. Hannibal reportedly crossed the line from orderly to disorderly by shouting profanities, and was arrested.
A witness filmed his arrest, and Hannibal did not go quietly into that dark police car. He demanded to know what he was being arrested for, which is a completely reasonable request. According to one of the officers, Hannibal had been arrested for trespassing. The trespassing reason wasn’t good enough for Hannibal, and he refused to put his butt in the car. So eventually, the police officers helped him out with that. Bill Cosby is probably sucking away on his pudding pop with an extra-smug look today.
The arrest report says that Hannibal was actually booked for disorderly intoxication. He was released just before 6am on Sunday on a $500 bond.
That video is like an extended patience test. And in my mind, Hannibal passed with flying colors. When Hannibal tells the officers, “I’m chill,” he’s not lying. Hannibal is surprisingly chill for someone standing in a puddle during their arrest. If my drunk ass was standing in an inch of liquid on the street in Miami at 2am, I’d be panicking trying to figure out if it was vodka, vomit or pee.
Pic: Miami-Dade Corrections