Hot Slut Of The Day!
Parts of Southern California continue to be an ashy post-apocalyptic land of sadness, and the rest of the country is continuing its transformation into an over-filled musical festival Porta Potty, but leave it to a serious journalist like myself to bring you truly important news! I bring you a 27 second video of a duck speed-eating a bowl of peas in water. This highly riveting video came out on November 22, so I’m sure TIME Magazine is firing several editors for not discovering this game-changing duck in time to name it their #2 Person of the Year (ducks are people too, okay?).
The video, which has almost 500,000 views and shook Reddit to its core, starts with a person putting down a bowl of peas and water soup for a duck. Then that duck scarfs that shit up as thought it was a Wall Street stock trader’s nose and those peas were lines of coke spread out on his desk right before the office holiday party. This duck IS the Joey Chestnut of ducks.
The truth is, I’m not that impressed since I eat faster whenever the server at El Torito puts down a thing of tortilla chips while my friend is in the bathroom. But I am impressed with whoever produced and directed this riveting piece, because they turned it into a two-parter by cutting it off right before we find out if that duck finished the bowl of peas completely. Cliffhanger! RIP to my fingers, because I’m going to work the hell out of them as I furiously refresh that YouTube channel while waiting for the teaser trailer to the trailer to the sequel to Duck Eating Peas.
Pic: YouTube