You have gotta hand it to Randy Travis, he keeps it 100% legit. He’s a country legend and newly released video of his 2012 DWI arrest proves that he’s the real deal and not one of these namby pamby citified country singers.
You may recall that back in 2012 Randy got blotto, stripped nekked, crashed his 1998 TransAm and then walked his bare bottom to a convenience store. He was subsequently arrested, and, after refusing medical treatment was cuffed and given a free ride in a cop car to the police station. Not a great look considering his dang pecker was roaming free as a wayward calf the whole dang time. And so, according to TMZ, Randy petitioned a judge to keep the embarrassing video under wraps. Well, that judge can hang because he denied the request and the video is now roaming the digital range free as can be. And it is just about the most countrified drunken rant since The Notorious LJP asked the world, “Do you know who I AM?”!
Before I hit play, I was bracing myself for some truly distasteful language and/or slurs to be thrown around (I’m looking at you, Shia!) but Randy kept his ramblings respectful. Well, if using the power of prayer to compel God to make a growth appear on a man’s head can be considered respectful. The whole thing is a country song in the making: Lady troubles, daddy issues and a dick that’s “bigger than most”. Here’s Randy:
The entire video is 3 hours long and of course has been edited for maximum shenanigry. TMZ has a longer, un-bleeped clip which is more disturbing because Randy threatens to blow the arresting officer’s head off with “60 rounds, fully automatic” but I prefer the above edit because it’s a more gentlemanly irate tirade. Randy’s people say he’s been in a bad way with his mental health and was taking medications and suffering from a concussion from the accident.
“Randy is deeply apologetic for his actions that evening. A man of integrity with a good heart, Randy does not and will never condone these type of actions that distort the true beliefs of Randy Travis and his entire family.”
In other words, Randy is fine. Fine as a Goddamned Daisy.