There’s nothing that brings all the tweens to the yard than some passive aggressive social media maneuver. Back in my day, all we had were obscure Hanson lyrics to post as an AIM away message, but kids these days can do all sorts of stunts like blocking, unfollowing, and…GOING PRIVATE! So when Selena Gomez took her Instagram to private mode for a mere 130 million of her closest fans and followers, the same number of Detective LaToyas popped up looking for answers.
In case you missed it, Selena did a Billboard interview that opened with the reporter briefly noting a five-foot teddy bear sprawled across her kitchen floo. Some think teddy bear was a gift from Justin Bieber. The article then segued into some deep shit, namely her lupus, her kidney transplant, and puppies (because we need some light fare somewhere). But then the interview veered into the dark arts when the reporter asked what it was like working with Woody Allen, and Selena didn’t exactly come prepared (ROOKIE MISTAKE!) with an answer to Teflon away the judgment. Considering how squirmy she got about the Woody question, you might think her genius fans would blame that on what caused her to block all but a select 130 million few from seeing her Insta. Alas, that is not the case.
— Selena Gomez News (@_selenagomezecu) December 5, 2017
Teen Vogue notes the ‘gram went private sometime early Tuesday morning, but before she did, she had posted a screenshot of the story (which was since deleted) with the following caption:
“Never will I let another human guess my words ever again. Or invite them in my home. That is so hurtful. The most ‘ridiculous’ part of that is no one knowing my heart when I say things.”
People took the “ridiculous” quote in her screenshot to coincide with the bear blabbing, so fans naturally think she’s pissy the reporter – whom she INVITED into her HOME – narked on her for holding onto a bear for too long. Oh, Selena, don’t worry. We’ve all held onto bears longer than we should…it’s just a phase in blossoming into the gay man you’re meant to be!
Fans are hoping she’s all right, which I can’t tell if their concern is over her going private or over her mental state from holding onto a giant teddy bear likely scooped up at the county fair. I’m going to assume the latter since Selena is too busy fretting over her teddy collection to realize the real embarrassment was her not just responding to that Woody Allen question with, “I’m still a baby and was on Barney. How the fuck should I know what Woody used to do?”