Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 4, 2017 / Posted by:

The sculpture at IKEA in Burbank that sort-of-kind-of-not-really looks like a skinny-headed fat dick!

The new-ish flagship IKEA store in Burbank, CA is approximately the size of half of Kanye’s ego (that’s 456,000 square feet, if you want to get technical), so you can easily get separated from your loved ones, find yourself lost and spend several days wandering the hills of Billy bookcases and the fields of Rens sheepskin rugs while surviving on half-eaten Swedish meatballs and bits of stale Princess Cake. But the Burbank IKEA recently erected (punned on purpose) a perfect meeting spot in the parking lot. Before you go into the IKEA in Burbank, tell your loved ones, “If we get lost, let’s meet at the skinny fat white peen in the parking lot.”

ABC7 says that IKEA commissioned the piece, but they won’t say anything about it. In the next week or so, they plan to rip off its white plastic cover during an unveiling. ABC7’s reporters, who deserve several local Emmys for this exclusive report, talked to a couple of customers who burped up their thoughts about the melting bowling pin thing at IKEA:

“I’m envious, I have to say,” laughed Orlando Suess of Burbank.

Others were simply mystified.

“I don’t understand why,” said Keyn Miao of Burbank. “Like, what is the purpose of it? And basically I don’t know what is it.”

Oh, Keyn Miao of Burbank, how can you not know what that is! It’s obviously the big bottomed curvy peen of a Dr. Seuss character who got a botched circumcision. I won’t tell you which Dr. Seuss character (Sam I Am).

Pic: ABC7 (For Norma)

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >