You read that right. In an indescribably tacky move, Sony Pictures has scheduled Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming Charles Manson movie to open on the 50th anniversary of the day his “Family” brutally murdered Sharon Tate and friends. This is genius marketing on Sony Pictures’ (and Quentin’s?) part! Hopefully, they can keep up the good work by snagging a fast food tie-in. “Do you have any Tex Watson toys left? No? Fine, I guess I’ll have the Patricia Krenwinkel one.” *pouts*
The Hollywood Reporter says that Sony acquired the distribution rights to the movie last month, and has announced that it will cut a bloody swath through theaters beginning on August 9, 2019. There, I just gave them a tacky tagline for the poster.
Sony will also be releasing a Manson movie app, tie-in clothing line, and some commemorative plates with the Franklin Mint. Oh, and the premiere will be held in the backyard of the former LaBianca house because the Sharon Tate house was bulldozed some time ago. That had to hurt the kids in marketing. I’m totally joking but I know someone out there is going to believe it because, sadly, it’s almost believable.
The only competition Quentin’s assuredly tasteful epic has so far in that month is Disney’s Artemis Fowl. You know he’s just doing this movie to cast barefoot hippie chicks to fap over and to show off his bitchin’ soundtrack picks.
Last month, Charles Manson (aka Tiny Murder Jesus) finally creepy-crawled out of this plane of existence due to natural causes. He was in prison for what seemed like eons after his multiple murder convictions in 1971, which included masterminding the Tate/LaBianca murders in August 1969. I’m honestly shocked that Quentin wasn’t able to weasel inside the prison to record some of Charlie’s nonsensical ramblings for an after-credits sequence. He probably did.