Archives: November 2017

Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 24, 2017 / Posted by:

The ultra gay interpretive color guard dance from an anti-gay rally in Dallas!

MassResistance is a hate group of out and proud homophobes who I guess believe that God hates fags, but LOVES flags! Last Friday and Saturday, they held their Teens4Truth conference to teach the youngins’ the dangers of the “gay agenda,” but those bigoted messes, opened with a routine that could easily be the official dance of the “gay agenda.

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Birthday Sluts

November 24, 2017 / Posted by:

Stephen Merchant (43)
Colin Hanks (40)
Sarah Hyland (27)
Tom Odell (27)
Sabi (30)
Elena Satine (29)
Karine Vanasse (34)
Leah Jenner (35)
Katherine Heigl (39)
Lola Glaudini (46)
Shirley Henderson (52)
Dawn Robinson (52)
Garret Dillahunt (53)
Denise Crosby (60)
Ruben Santiago-Hudson (61)
Linda Tripp (68)
Lee Michaels (72)
Billy Connolly (75)
Pete Best (76)
Candy Darling (1944-1974)

Pic: Spike

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Happy Turkey Day From A Giant Serving Of Demure-Encrusted Chicken Cutlets

November 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Don’t worry, I heard all of you (read: none of you) scream that you can’t possibly slurp down a fat slice of canned cranberry loaf and a spoonful of roasted marshmallows (bottomed with a touch of gross ass yams) until you’ve seen a ridiculous HOliday photo shoot starring the Ho Stroll Queen of All Seasons Phoebe Price! A holiday-themed photo shoot starring PP is as much of an annual tradition as your drunk cousin eating uncooked biscuits in the kitchen as she cries about how her husband don’t love her no more.

At a supermarket in the L.A. area recently, shoppers heard the manager say, “clean-up of pure talent on aisle 10,” over the loudspeaker when Chicken Cutlets slathered the tiled floor with SALMONELLA (sexiness, artisticness, luxury, magnetism, oomph, nobility, elegance, loveliness, lavishness and amazingnextleveltalent!). PP left everyone gagging on the hot fumes wafting off of her freckled Cornish game hens. That shopper behind PP is obviously paralyzed by the glamour of it all and doesn’t know how she stumbled onto a French Vogue photo shoot. Or maybe she’s mistaking Chicken Cutlet’s ass for a Butterball turkey and wondering if it’s on special.

Phoebe Price truly puts the “thanks” and “giving” in Thanksgiving, because we’re all thanking her for giving us so much. And if you find that your family is screaming and thisclose to shanking each other with the wishbone, just show them these pictures. They’ll be so mesmerized by PP’s beauty that they’ll stop everything to worship her. Sure, they may look at her giving us chicken, HAM and cheese and eventually start fighting over the last slice of cheesy ham and chicken casserole, but those few moments of silence will be worth it.

Pics: Backgrid

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 23, 2017 / Posted by:

The Car Rental Agent (as played to chirpy Not The One perfection by the one and only Edie McClurg) from Planes, Trains & Automobiles!

To celebrate the day that I spread my eatin’ hole open by attaching my lips to my earlobes with a clamp before shoving canfuls of processed cranberry jelly deliciousness and whole bottles of whiskey up in there, I had to do a little traveling to be with family. But traveling wasn’t that bad thanks to travel essentials like mind-numbing tiny bottles of airplane wine and my other natural nerve-soother (no, TSA agent, I’m not talking about the vials of the good shit oil stowawaying in my b-hole tunnel. I’m talking about the downloaded episodes of The Golden Girls on my laptop. Yeah that!). I never had a “Steve Martin in PT&A” meltdown and sadly I never got cursed out by a car rental agent. It’s not really the holiday season until a service industry employee has bitched you out after reaching their “fuck it” point. See: my favorite car rental agent played by Bonnie “No Nuh-Nuh No No-No” Brindle from Small Wonder.

When an off-the-edge Steve Martin drops fuck bombs all around and on the Marathon Car Rental agent and tells her to wipe that fucking dumbass smile off of her rosy fucking cheeks, she quickly drops her “service with a smile” cheeriness and lets the quiet rage boil up inside of her. And all the while Steve Martin drags her, she effortlessly keeps it glamorous with that frosted purple dust on her eyelids and that extra hard “won’t move for no one, even a bitch ass customer” bouffant of utter elegance.

There’s always at least one thing to be thankful for and that one thing is always Edie McClurg. Happy Thanksgiving, all. Gobble, gobble, you’re fucked!

Pic: YouTube 

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Birthday Sluts

November 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Snooki (30)
Miley Cyrus (25)
Lucas Grabeel (33)
Kelly Brook (38)
Jonathan Sadowski (38)
Allison Mosshart (39)
Page Kennedy (41)
Chris Adler (45)
Chris Hardwick (46)
Zoë Ball (47)
Oded Fehr (47)
Salli Richardson-Whitfield (50)
Vincent Cassel (51)
John Schnatter (56)
Robin Roberts (57)
Maxwell Caulfield (58)
Bruce Hornsby (63)
Rick Bayless (64)
Bruce Vilanch (69)
Joe Eszterhas (73)
Robert Towne (83)

Pic: Splash

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Afternoon Crumbs

November 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Reese Witherspoon is currently in Paris with her family for her daughter Ava’s debut at Le Bal des Débutantes. I can’t believe they walked through the airport upon arrival. I don’t know much about fancy balls, but it’s my understanding those attending a ball are provided a pumpkin-turned-coach pulled by magic mice – Lainey Gossip

DUH statement of the day: Jennifer Lawrence thinks she was too young for the roles she played in Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle, and JoyCelebitchy

Teresa Giudice wants to write fiction novels. I’d make a joke about her first book being something called Frankenhairline, but she said fiction novels – Reality Tea

Here’s Ana Braga showing you that you should always lift a heavy object with your legs, unless the paparazzi show up, in which case you should lift with your ass – Drunken Stepfather

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