Open Post: Hosted By Prince George’s Christmas Gift List 

November 30, 2017 / Posted by:

We’re less than a month away from International Parents Go Broke From Buying Their Kids Stupid Shit They’ll Play With For Twenty Minutes Day, and so you children better get in your lists right away. I sent “Santa” (my mom) my Christmas gift wish list weeks ago. Strangely enough, it was returned to me with the words, “Returned To Delusional Sender, With Love, ‘Santa,’” written with a Sharpie on the envelope. Weird, I know. My list was 45 pages long and really heavy, so I probably just didn’t put enough postage on it. I’ll fix that today, but anyway…

4-year-old Prince George is really, really rich and he could get whatever he wants by summoning his servants with a bell and telling them to get whatever he wants. But even he wants something from Santy Claus for Jesus’ born day. Prince William is in Finland, and during a visit to Esplanade Park’s Christmas market in Helsinki, he handed Santa his son’s wish list in front of a bunch of paps. Santa is stupid. He should’ve grabbed that list real quick and hid it from everyone. He could’ve sold it to The Mirror for a big stack of cash. But instead he showed it to everyone. And there’s only one thing on Prince George’s list:

That can’t be right. A police car? If Prince George walked up to a bobby and told him he wanted his car, that bobby would have to hand over the keys. It’s written on a royal scroll somewhere! So my guess is that what Prince George meant is that he wants a police car… to escort his royal carriage to the palace where THE QUEEN will do what’s right by handing him his rightful crown and declaring him THE KING!!!!! That’s what he meant, obviously.

Pic: Getty

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