Somebody tried to murder Billy Bush with a golf ball to the head and there is no clear evidence disproving that it wasn’t one Donald J. Trump. Ok, I may the only one suggesting that as a hypothetical possibility but you were all thinking it when you read the headline. Don’t lie. I know that accusing a sitting president of an assassination attempt on the life of a private citizen is both incredibly stupid and dangerously inflammatory but hear me out: It’s a joke! Did you hear that CIA? A joke. I was only kidding. Making fun of a public figure. I think it’s still allowed. Jesus, I hope it’s still allowed or I’m toast. The truth is that Billy Bush really did get clobbered by a golf ball.
According to UsWeekly:
Ouch! Billy Bush ended up in an L.A. hospital on Monday, November 27, after being hit in the head by a golf ball.
See, a real source! I’m doing responsible journalism! Billy posted some pictures of himself in the hospital to Instagram.
See, Billy Bush is fine! He even said we could make jokes so that’s all I was trying to do. Make a few jokes, lighten the mood. The mood is very bad these days. Something like Billy Bush getting bonked on the head by a golf ball, well that’s the type of shit I live for in #thesetryingtimes. No harm no FOUL BALL! Haha, I got more where that came from. What did the golf ball say to the head? If you don’t deny we were ever on that bus together I’m gonna use a nine iron instead of a putter next time! Get it? Putter?! Ok, jokes aside, Billy got hurt. But he’s going to be fine. Everybody relax!