Pictured: Prince Hot Ginge making the same face I made when he said Princess Diana would be “over the moon” about him getting engaged to Meghan Markle. First, he betrays me by getting engaged to a different biracial American, and then he says the line that hurts my soul almost more than the line, “Sorry, but we’re out of alcohol.” Way to knee me in the b-hole before spitting on it! And not in a sexy way.
After their engagement photo call, PHG and the real winner of I Wanna Marry Harry did one of those traditional and weird interviews that newly engaged British royals do. Now, if I just got engaged to PHG and had to do one of those weird TV interviews, I’d just flash my ring at the camera while saying, “Eat it, whores!“, before humping him until they furiously cut to commercial. But PHG and Meghan talked to the BBC’s Mishal Husain about boring things like how they met, his proposal, her ring and blah blah blah. Yes, I’ll admit that they’re cute and sweet together, but the only thing more barf-inducing than watching an ~in love~ couple sweetly talk about how ~in love~ they are, is watching an ~in love~ couple sweetly talk about how ~in love~ they are while not having to worry about money ever again! Damn them!
We started hearing about PHG and Meghan in October 2016, but they say their first date happened in July 2016. They were set up by a mutual friend, whose name they didn’t want to say for privacy reasons, and met for a drink in London. She says she didn’t know much about him before meeting him (GASP!) and he says he never watched Suits and didn’t know who she was. They had back-to-back dates, and a few weeks later, he invited her to a week-long trip in Botswana so they could really get to know each other under the stars. It’s like a goddamned Hallmark movie. They never went more than two weeks without seeing each other. For PHG it was refreshing to hang out with someone who wasn’t in royal circles and didn’t really know much about him, and vice versa.
Meghan has met up with THE QUEEN a couple of times and earned the Corgis seal of approval. They apparently sat at her feet all through tea with THE QUEEN. I see that Meghan slathered her pumps with bacon grease so the Corgis would fall in love with her. Well played, Meghan! I also see that Meghan has already mastered her monarchy PR training, because she said this about the royals and THE QUEEN:
“It’s incredible. To be able to meet her through his lens, not just with his honor and respect for her as Monarch, but with the love he has for her as his grandmother. She’s an incredible woman.”
PHG also said that his mother and Meghan would’ve been as “thick as thieves.”
Back to their blind date, when the friend asked Meghan if she wanted to go out with PHG, she only had one question:
“I now understand very clearly: there’s a global interest there. I didn’t know much about him, and so the only thing I had asked her when she said she wanted to set us up was…’Is he nice?’ Because if he wasn’t kind, it just didn’t seem like it would make sense.”
The hell kind of question is that? Is he nice? Your friend, who knows PHG, asks you if you want to go on a date with him and the only thing you ask is if he’s nice?!?! It’s good to ask a question when someone sets you up with PHG, but if the question isn’t, “Girl, where’s the nearest CVS, because I’m going to need to get some aloe vera and burn cream for when I take a ride on that fiery hot rod?“, there’s no point in asking anything!
Pic: BBC via YouTube