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November 26, 2017 / Posted by:

Play-Doh Fuzzy Pumper!

Fuzzy Pumper may sound like a cutesy name for a bear who considers himself a power top, but to us 70s and 80s kids it was a magical toy from Play-Doh. Play-Doh is now selling some shit called Crazy Cuts and it’s basically the same thing as Fuzzy Pumper, but it has a much boring name that doesn’t sound like a sex act.

With Fuzzy Pumper, you’d take a Play-Doh person (who to my grown and gutter eyes now looks like a short uncut peen), plop it on the barber platform and crank it to make “hair” sprout out of his holes in his face and on his head. That Play-Doh person would go from being a completely bald business man to looking like a homeless drifter who lives in a tarp tent in the middle of the woods and scares the children as he dives into the dumpsters in the Burger King parking lot. You could also cut their hair and make a do’ with a mold. The mold hair is what Jabba the Trump sees through his eyes of delusion when he looks into the mirror. He wishes he had it like that.

One time I got my hair cut at Master Cuts and shit looked a wreck. It was uneven and just wonky. That stylist totally got their training from the Play-Doh Fuzzy Pumper.

Pic: YouTube

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