Not Everyone Enjoyed Christina Aguilera’s Karaoke Tribute To “The Bodyguard” At The American Music Awards

November 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Any doubt that the American Music Awards are the last-minute high school project version of the Grammys was removed last night when Christina Aguilera took to the stage for a tribute to the 25th anniversary of the soundtrack to The Bodyguard. We know it wasn’t a tribute to Whitney Houston, because at no point during Christina’s “most-confident bridesmaid at the bachelorette karaoke party” performance did anyone report seeing a disrespected ghost scream “Hell to the NO” while attempting to yank the mic plug from a power outlet backstage.

Normally Christina takes me to church (I’m an Xtina stan from way back). But Christina’s mash-up performance of “I Will Always Love You“, “I Have Nothing“, “Run To You“, and “I’m Every Woman” took me to the bad kind of church. I’m talking the Catholic kind that I used to go to as a kid with my cousins, where I spent most of the service looking at my Mickey Mouse watch and wondering why it’s not over yet and if I’m being punished for something. Christina’s voice was all over the place. Sometimes it was slow, sometimes it was flat. She didn’t even do the “Chaka Khan!” call-out in “I’m Every Woman.” That might be the most criminal act of her performance.

And I’m still not entirely sure why Christina performed in a black silk dressing gown with her hair combed back like a magician’s mistress who was forced to answer the door after 8pm.

Twitter lit up during her performance, and it was mostly to call out the audience’s hilariously mixed and visually stunned reactions. One of the best “The fuck is this?” faces came from Christina’s former enemy Pink.

However, People magazine points out that Pink wanted everyone to know she absolutely wasn’t giving Christina’s performance a massive helping of stink face.

Okay, fine, but why the hell was Pink making that face then? That’s the look of a woman whose brain is barely comprehending what is happening before her. Maybe Pink was confused because the person singing sounded like Christina, but didn’t look like Christina. Christina had about 800% less makeup on last night than she usually does. Pink was probably just trying to figure out why. My best guess is that her makeup artist was forced to keep it light after the handle fell off the bricklayer’s trowel they usually use to apply her makeup.

Pic: ABC

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