The Brangelina Divorce Is Puttering Along

November 15, 2017 / Posted by:

The divorce proceedings between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are officially longer than a Jessica Simpson pregnancy, but it appears things are decidedly less screeching howler monkey and more mature adult than they were in the initial days.

Us Weekly reports Brad is doing well on his Eat, Pray, Love turnaround 14 months after he and Angie announced they were done. He’s focused more on work than his bong collection these days, as he’s been sober for a year. A source adds he’s intent on working out a custody arrangement with Angelina:

“He’s still determined to have a fully resolved situation for the sake of the whole family.”

Before we get too Pollyanna about how Brad and Angelina are going to sign their divorce papers with rainbows, let’s go back to how this whole mess started. After taking 500 decades to finally walk down the aisle, Brangelina put a ring on it and made it official in 2014 with Angelina wearing a dress that looked like the wall in a pre-school. Two years later, there was an “incident” on a private plane where Brad allegedly was a drunk asshole to their son Maddox. Angie dialed the divorce lawyer, and the FBI even got involved regarding allegations of child abuse, and those two played the press like a game of chess for a while before finally shutting the fuck up. Angelina softened her stance on Brad when gabbing to the press, and a few sources claimed they were even heading to reconciliation. But there haven’t been any further signs of that apart from the fact that it’s taking them just as long to get divorced as it did to get married.

Or the fact that some thought Brad was boinking a blue blood! But that same UsWeekly snitch adds Brad isn’t going to be Grace Kelly 2.0 and isn’t dating Monaco royalty Charlotte Casiraghi – he’s too focused on family to worry about fucking his way to a crown!


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