Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 14, 2017 / Posted by:

Tristan Lambright, the attention whore streaker who delivered two things that football needs more of: bare peen and man ass.

If you don’t count drag queen shows and strip clubs as sporting events (which you should since everyone involved is a world-class athlete), then I’ve been to a small handful of sporting events in my life, and I feel ripped off that I never saw a naked streaker’s dick swing like a speeding pendulum as he streaks across the field. I want a refund! But the fans at the New Era Field in Orchard Park, NY got their money’s worth during a Buffalo Bills v. New Orleans Saints game on Sunday. Buffalo News says that during the fourth quarter, when the Bills were eating shit served by the Saints (the score was 47-10), a fan came up with the genius idea to distract all the depressed people in the stadium with hairy nakedness.

Because crashing a field and being naked in public is illegal, the streaker was caught by security (cut to John Travolta applying for a security job at New Era Field), covered up and handed off to police who arrested him. He faces misdemeanor charges for public lewdness and criminal trespassing.  The streaker’s mom wasn’t surprised, because she says he’s a “free spirit.

HuffPo really brought the sports shade by saying that the Bills should hire the streaker since he ran more yards than they did.

Let’s take a look at the stats: Five Bills players carried a total of 15 times for 69 yards.

According to the Buffalo News, the streaker sprinted from end zone to end zone ― 100 yards.

Pfft, Jon Hamm isn’t impressed. The Hammaconda could touch one end zone as the rest of Jon Hamm’s body touches the other. And here’s a clip of the streaker streaking in front of a more-than-half-empty stadium:

Something tells me that at the next Buffalo Bills game at New Era Field, the entire place will be filled up completely, and mostly with people waiting for the attention whore streaker to give an encore performance.

Pic: @JGiron

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