In June of 2015, a 59-year-old army veteran named Henry Walker decided to buy a watermelon at his local Walmart store in Phenix City, Alabama. Once inside, his watermelon buying experience was anything but smiley faces. It turned into a nightmare! But unlike 98% of terrible nightmarish Walmart shopping trips, this was a legitimate horror show.
According to The Washington Post, Henry grabbed a watermelon from a display, unaware that his foot was stuck in the wooden pallet beneath the watermelon container. He turned, unaware that his foot was stuck, fell, and shattered his hip. “I broke my hip in an Alabama Walmart” are probably the scariest eight words a senior can hear next to “Your satellite dish isn’t picking up CBS today.”
Henry Walker sued Walmart for negligence and wantonness (aka maliciousness). His lawyers argued that Walmart had a responsibility to its customers to provide a safe environment and should have known the wooden pallet could cause injury. Last Wednesday, a jury agreed with the arguments provided by Henry’s lawyers, and they awarded him $7.5 million in damages. Congratulations Henry, you’re rich enough that you don’t have to shop at Walmart anymore! With that kind of money, you can start shopping at Target.
Walmart spokesperson Randy Hargrove tells The Washington Post they’re not happy with that $7.5 million verdict and they plan to appeal.
“We are disappointed in the verdict. We appreciate the jury’s service, however we believe that the damages awarded were excessive in light of the facts of this case.”
Excessive? Walmart profits are reportedly in the hundreds of billions. $7.5 million is nothing. And they shouldn’t appeal, because no jury will ever find them not guilty. There’s only one day of the year when a Walmart customer assumes the risk and prepares to leave the store with $0 and a broken hip, and that’s Black Friday.