Hot Slut Of The Day!
Björk’s burgundy strap-on!
The other day, a reader dropped a note into my inbox that partly read, “How can you ignore Björk’s dildo?“ Their rage against me was on point, and if I had a burgundy strap-on next to me, I’d slap my face with it. Shit, if I had a burgundy strap-on next to me, I wouldn’t be writing this right now, because I’d be too busy repeatedly slapping my face with it since I always like to find ways to show how desperate I am.
The Icelandic moonstone is releasing her tenth studio album, Utopia, on November 24, and during the past couple of weeks, she’s been giving her fans the Q-tip by burping out artwork for it. Vogue says that Björk worked with several artists (like James Merry, Jesse Kanda, makeup artist Hungry and photographer Santiago Felipe) to transform her into several otherworldly creatures that look like what you’d hallucinate after doing acid at a Cremaster Cycle-themed rave (so Björk looks like Björk, basically).
My favorite picture, of course, is the one above, because of three words: HIGH ART DICK. Björk looks like a Lisa Frank yeti/alien hybrid who is luring asses, mouths and pusses to her exquisite strap-on by playing a loin-tingling song on her chocolate dick recorder. Yes, I’d totally hit it, even with that pastel rainbow gonorrhea face rash she got from tossing a unicorn’s salad.
And in case you haven’t seen it, Björk wears a forehead labia on the cover of her album. If you’re a lover of cooze and strap-ons, then the visual theme of Björk’s new album is for you. Just imagine yourself riding that strap-on while licking on that forehead labia at the same time. Utopia, indeed!
A HSOTD honorable mentions goes to the alien rat creature who seems to be giving itself a beej while floating on a wave of jizz.
Pic: Instagram/ Santiago Felipe