Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 11, 2017 / Posted by:

The long-legged teddy bear of dreams (or nightmares, depending on who you ask)!

There’s a lot of holidays coming up, like Hanukkah, Christmas, and National I Hate You Day (that was actually on October 28, so happy belated National I Hate You  Day), and Amazon has got the perfect gift to give loved ones. Today is Veteran’s Day, so you could same-day ship this bear to the service man or woman in your life and make them say, “Bitch, haven’t I been through enough?

A company called Joyfay is currently selling a gigantic teddy bear on Amazon for just $109.99. The six and a half foot long teddy bear is pictured on Amazon’s site with regular-sized teddy bear legs:

longleggedteddybearamazon

But when some people ordered it, it showed up to their house looking like it got leg lengthening surgery. An Amazon shopper named Savannah was pissed when she got her giant teddy bear last year and she leg-shamed the poor trick by posting the picture above with this review:

Hideous! The legs are like 4 feet long making the bear look like a creepy gumby thing. I got this for Valentine’s Day and would have rather had a cheaper more proportional bear…I mean this isn’t even cute.

“...would have rather had a cheaper more proportional bear” is straight out of Shit You Read On Grindr.

Savannah wasn’t the only one who got the plushie monster baby of a teddy bear and Stretch Armstrong delivered to her. Others did too.

teddybearamazonreviews

I love to see this teddy bear embracing its long, gorgeous legs by giving us a “Draw me like one of your French girls” pose:

Sadly, a rep for Joyfay told Buzzfeed that the bear they sell is no longer extra special, because they’ve corrected the long ass legs “issue” and the bear is being shipped with regular-sized legs now. And just when I was about to buy one…

But if Savannah wants to sell me hers, I’ll gladly take it. No, I’m not a plushie who gets the leaks for a teddy bear that can put its legs on my shoulders! Savannah may see a hideous freak, but I see the world’s next supermodel that will make me rich! With legs like that, it can stomp the runaway so hard that the likes of Kendall Jenner and the Hadids will lose their balance and fall off. And that supermodel teddy bear will be telling the truth when it says to reporters what every model says to reporters: “I used to get made fun of for my freakishly long ass legs, but look at me now!

Pics: Amazon

 

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