Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 9, 2017 / Posted by:

The dead grasshopper who was found embedded in one of van Gogh’s masterpieces!

I don’t do many posthumous HSOTDs, but this 19th century grasshopper deserves some kind of tribute for taking all of the attention away from one of van Gogh’s pieces 128 years later. Vincent van Gogh’s Olive Trees currently hangs at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City, MO, and conservator Mary Schafer had been examining some paintings at the museum when she noticed the dead painting crasher. If Mary Schafer ever gets bored with being a painting conservator, she should switch careers and become a professional Where’s Waldo? spotter. Actually, I hate to call out Mary’s Where’s Waldo? skills, but she was actually using magnification when looking at Olive Trees.

Mary tells The Kansas City Star that not all of the grasshopper made it onto Olive Trees. The grasshopper’s thorax and abdomen are missing. So that poor bitch probably got murdered with van Gogh’ swattin’ hand, and then when it splattered across the canvas, he butchered it with his brush. Julián Zugazagoitia, the director of the Nelson-Atkins Museum, says that van Gogh painted Olive Trees outside in St.-Rémy, France, so there was definitely all kinds of insects and shit around him. And I bet that if you put up a magnifying glass to most works by the masters, you’d see all sorts of things. I bet you’d see pubes all over a Monet since he painted naked. I made that up. I just wanted to picture that hot bearded daddy naked.

vangogholivetrees

The Nelson-Atkins is going to keep the dead grasshopper on the painting, but I did hear that they’re going to change the little title note card to read: PRESENTING THE STOMACH-LESS GRASSHOPPER (ft. that one painting by van Gogh).

Pics: AP/The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art

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