Open Post: Hosted By A Shirtless Australian Firefighter Snuggling With A Koala

November 8, 2017 / Posted by:

Damn that koala. Even the Taylor Swifts of the wild (because they’re cute and sweet on the outside but vicious bitches on the inside) can nab themselves a piping hot pillar of muscles. If it wasn’t for that sad lethal chlamydia epidemic, I’d wish I was koala.

The Australian Firefighters Calendar is back to remind us that in the magical land of Kath & Kim, firefighters look like they do in porn. The Australian firefighters training program must consist of spending 10 hours a day in the gym, getting weekly nipple waxes and spraying each other down with giants hoses spouting out fake tanner. For 2018, the Australian Firefighters put out a total of three calendars, including one co-starring furry animal friends.

You can buy the calendar here, and every $1 goes to charity. Over the past 25 years, they’ve raised $2.3 million for charity by showing off their hairless nipple knobs and Aussie cum gutters. They also put together a video from the shoot, and even an ear-murdering song can’t dim their hotness.

If I ever make it to Australia, the first call I’m going to make when I land is to 000 (that’s Australian for 911):

000 operator: G’day, mate, what’s yer ah-mer-gen-say?

Me: I’d like to report a fire in my hole.

000 operator: Crikey! What’s yer address?

Me: It’s 69 MyAnus Circle, and the cross street is Butt Crack Highway. Only send the hot ones from the calendar and make sure they bring extra masks and a strong stomach!

And here’s more of the firefighters from down under who can start a fire in your down under parts with just one pec flex.

Pics: Australian Firefighters Calendar

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