Next Year’s Met Gala Theme Has Madge Written All Over It

November 8, 2017 / Posted by:

The only thing Madonna might love more than the fresh blood of greased-up backup dancers is to gyrate around a crucifix and surf on a nun. So Anna Wintour really missed an opportunity by not making the Material Girl the lady priest or co-host or whatever of next year’s Met Gala. Because the theme is honoring Catholic fashion. Instead, it’ll be a “say wha?” trinity with Rihanna, Donatella Versace, and Amal Clooney serving as celebrity co-hosts.

Vogue, apparently deciding to black out those white gloves Amal sewed herself for the 2015 Golden Globes, announced today the theme for the 2018 event will be “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion And The Catholic Imagination.”

Next spring, the Costume Institute will sanctify its love of fashion as it presents “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination.” Designed to create a dialogue between fashion and the masterworks of religious art in the museum’s holdings, the show will be presented in a trinity of locations: the Anna Wintour Costume Center, the medieval galleries at the Met’s Fifth Avenue location, and further uptown at the Cloisters. Central to the conversation will be the papal garb on loan from the Sistine Chapel sacristy, many of which have never been seen outside the Vatican, even in the 1983 Met blockbuster, “The Vatican Collections: The Papacy and Art.”

Everyone will likely do as they’ve done by ignoring the theme completely. Or they’ll just wear rosary beads with papal red Prada pumps and call it a day. But I’m sure many can’t wait to make the Vatican regret ever having agreed to its pact with Beelzebub Wintour. Madge is certain to arrive wearing Rosary beads…and nothing else but arrows pointing to her tits.  Amal will knit his and hers nun’s habits to wear with George Clooney and do a scene from Doubt to greet arriving guest for what’s sure to be an uplifting evening. And I’m sure Rihanna will yet again find a way to stop the whole damn show by arriving in a dress that just is a Lego version of the Sistine Chapel.

But Anna really dropped the ball on this. Sally Field could have hosted the whole thing and made the theme all about her costumes from The Flying Nun!


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