Heidi Klum is a model, she’s a TV talent show judge, but above all, she’s a huge fan of Halloween. Heidi Klum doesn’t half-ass her costumes; you’ll never see her wearing a cheap striped polyester suit and going as a trademark-skirting Juice Demon. Last year she went a little lazy by dressing up as herself. This year she kind of made up for it by using a whole crate of film-grade latex, prosthetics, artificial animal fur, and spirit gum to transform herself into Michael Jackson at the beginning of “Thriller.”
Anyone else might have sent their assistant to the closest Spirit Halloween and told them to pick up a scary werewolf mask, but Heidi doesn’t do Halloween like that. The crew who created Heidi’s look for her annual Halloween party in Manhattan clearly put in a lot of work. Under other circumstances, turning a woman into a nightmare dog could have resulted in something that looked like Jocelyn Wildenstein before a trip to the dermatologist and the salon. But Heidi looks pretty damn close to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” werewolf.
Heidi was also joined by a pack of undead friends who joined her on her way into her party. Okay, but where in the hell is Michael Jackson’s girlfriend (as played by former Hot Slut of Day Ola Ray)? Werewolf Michael is nothing if he’s not terrorizing his date. Heidi should have called in a favor from her America’s Got Talent co-judge Howie Mandel. Howie is a master of impressions; not only could he totally pull off a high-pitched lady scream, but I bet he could do the Vincent Price part too.
There’s just one thing bothering me. Maybe I’m remembering “Thriller” wrong, but when Michael Jackson turned into the werewolf, did his fingers also turn into a set of lumpy dolphin dildos? Hold on, I better go re-watch “Thriller.”