Archives: November 2017

Paris Hilton Tried To Say She And Britney Spears Invented The Selfie

November 20, 2017 / Posted by:

The socialite of yesteryear, Paris Hilton, likes to take credit for a lot of the shit we do/endure these days. For instance, we can blame her for “That’s hot,” the annoying AF celeb inundation at Coachella, and Kim Kardashian. So it only makes sense that Paris is trying to take claim for another invention that isn’t exactly hers. Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By Selena Gomez Lip-Synching (Probably) While In Toddler Courtney Love Cosplay

November 20, 2017 / Posted by:

While Pink seemed to sing live while busting out some Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark shit on the side of a building like a crazy person, Selena Gomez seemed to have given her vocal cords the night off and chose to Britney it instead (although TMZ denies it, claiming she only used a backing track). But in Selena’s defense, she got a kidney transplant this past summer, and if I had a kidney transplant this past summer, I’d still be in bed and making my friends and family wait on me. “Michael, it’s been fifteen years since you’ve gotten that kidney. Don’t you think you should get out of bed already and stop making me get your favorite comfort meal of Popeye’s chicken with KFC sides?

Selena and that handless coffee mug (that ain’t a marshmallow, stop it) performed their song Wolves at the American Music Awards last night, and well, it was something that happened. Selena, who is now a greasy shade of Bieber blond, moved her mouth on a mic while looking about as out of it as a still drunk me when I get up in the middle of the night to piss. As a bruised and busted up Selena stumbled around her wrecked car, a chorus of sister wives in Keds let the devil take over their bodies while they busted out moves choreographed by Regan from The Exorcist. I think the shrug at the end pretty much sums the whole thing up.

Selena looked dazed and confused, and that might have been part of her performance since she’s supposed to be a car crash victim and shit. Or maybe, right before her performance, she was suddenly hit with the realization that she’s boning Justin Bieber again and is a member of a “church” whose leader looks like a Terry Richardson fanboy.

Pics: ABC, Wenn.com

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Jeffrey Tambor Is Leaving “Transparent” Because Of Those Harassment Allegations

November 20, 2017 / Posted by:

If there’s an instructional book called “What To Expect When the Male Lead of Your Prestige Television Series Has to Leave Due to Alleged Creepiness,” I’m sure Netflix just sent their copy to Amazon.

Earlier this month, Jeffrey Tambor’s former assistant accused of him acting inappropriately around her. Jeffrey denied it, but Amazon decided to take a peek and investigate to see if there was any creepy fire where there was the creepy smoke. Sure was! Transparent actress Trace Lysette had us all holding back the barf when she alleged Jeffrey used his nasty talon feet to trap her while he thrust on her. BLECH! Apparently realizing nobody would want to get anywhere near him in a silk kimono going forward, Jeffrey has decided to quit Transparent.

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The Fashion And Folly Of The American Music Awards

November 20, 2017 / Posted by:

The American Music Awards aired on CBS last night in order for you to have something to talk about with your weird cousin Trisha over Thanksgiving weekend. The AMA’s are the perfect empty vessel in which to hold your familial conversational obligations. That said, a few attendees did come to slay. Like Hailee Steinfeld, who, thanks to that leather bra and sharp shoulder pad situation, is seen giving you The Bodyguard starring a young Joan Crawford.

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