To me, the song Bodak Yellow is Satan’s mating call to let us know he’ll be returning soon, and Cardi B is the glamorous mistress of evil doing her master’s bidding. Because that song makes absolutely no sense, but even mistresses of evil deserve love. And now with the announcement of Cardi B’s engagement to Offset from Migos I’m sure VH1 is already in talks with her on how they can make money off a marriage that will probably last about ten seconds longer than Offset’s career.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I like Cardi B. She’s like the chick you see in the neighborhood who spots you across the street from way down the block and screams “WHAT’S POPPIN’ BIIIIITCH!!!??” We all know that person. The problem is, though, we only see that person every now and then. This child is EVERYWHERE. And it’s causing my migraines to flare up once again, especially when that damn song comes on (I can hear it now). Perhaps I’m the only one who feels like this, since the song made history and because I’m an old man now (someone grab me an ice cold glass of Jameson and Metamucil please). Because according to HotNewHipHop.com Offset is try’na keep Cardi around……foreva.
During Friday night’s Power 99’s Powerhouse concert in Philadelphia, Migos rapper Offset decided to drop down to a knee and ask his girlfriend Cardi B to marry him live on stage. Her response?… YES!
The proposal sent Cardi into a frenzy as she jumped and screamed in excitement as the sold out crowd watched the touching moment. Cardi could be seen fighting tears as she embraced Offset with a long & tight hug thereafter, but it’s clear love was in the air.
This proposal comes off the heels of last week’s breakup where Cardi claimed she was no longer with Offset. However, a gigantic piece of hard rock will make almost anyone sing a new tune in mere moments! Last night Cardi took to her Instagram to show off the ring, and by the looks of it, Offset will be broke soon. Especially if he’ll have to keep dipping into his wallet to supply Cardi with more red bottoms and endless bundles of the best Brazilian Yaki from Sally’s.
There’s even a touching video (via HotNewHipHop.com) of the moment Offset dropped to one knee and proposed his undying love (to attention) in front of a stadium full of people. The way Cardi started flailing about looked like she caught the Holy Ghost thinking about how much money Mona Scott-Young will throw at them to turn this shit into an eight-part reality TV special.
I’m sure this will be a timeless love which rivals the likes of Barack and Michelle’s. Or, Cardi and Offset will become that loud, cheap-booze bringing couple who curse each other out during Thanksgiving dinner before engaging in a drunken knife fight after the cops get called. Please, who am I kidding? They not making it to Halloween let alone Thanksgiving. But still, congrats!