Factory-defected robot doll Taylor Swift from earlier this week is here once again, and this time she’s brought her arch nemesis with her. And it’s…Taylor Swift. It was my understanding the old Taylor was dead. Who is this second Taylor? Did the death of one Taylor mean the birth of two, like a joint snake myth? Just when I thought we were done with the whole tired snake thing.
Taylor’s music video for “…Ready For It?” (directed by loyal Swift soldier Joseph Kahn) was released last night. As Michael K pointed out before, it’s very Tron, but also like if the O in Tron was replaced with a cutesy little heart.
Future Taylor, aka Taylor in a black studded Forever 21 hoodie, is seen stomping around a grimy version of what appears to be a city as imagined by a suburban high school kid who just discovered their town’s Little Tokyo. Eventually she enters an abandoned mall. Instead of finding a dried-up fountain filled with cracked tiles, hobo graffiti, and a dead gopher, she sees creepy naked android Taylor glowing like she got a deal on compact fluorescent bulbs at Android Depot.
Naked glowing android Taylor is evil. We know this because she looks like a robot, magically changes into a suit of tech armor, and floats. She also has an android horse.
Obviously, she must be defeated in battle by human Taylor. Redundant spoiler alert: human Taylor is actually the robot and Tech Armor Taylor destroys her.
I know the death of “human” Taylor is supposed to be T. Swift Shyamalan’s idea of a twist ending, but I saw it coming from a mile away. Of course that wasn’t a human Taylor. Human Taylor would have walked into that mall, realized there was no longer a Vera Bradley store, and hauled ass out of there.