Fighting the hot or not, I’d still get into some Smithers cosplay to climb that half-bald glass of Swedish leche while calling him “Daddy Burns.”
At last night’s opening of a Louis Vuitton exhibition in NYC, many tricks suddenly developed daddy issues when Alexander Skarsgard strolled in with hair like a middle-aged divorced math teacher who eats every dinner by himself at Denny’s, brags about his huge collection of Member’s Only jackets and still buys his porn at adult bookstores. That mess looks like a cross between “Friar Tuck after Friar Tuck’s barber went too crazy with the clippers” and “Pete Campbell’s hair on roids.”
ASkars probably asked a barber to give him the “Wigless Travolta” for a movie role, and surprisingly, the role isn’t Prince William in a biopic. ASkars is currently shooting some boring-sounding movie called The Hummingbird Project with Jesse Eisenberg. ASkars and Jesse play cousins, and he’s the “brains.” In movies, hot people can’t be smart, so they homely’d ASkars up by turning him into the before picture in a Hair Club for Men ad. Deadline describes the movie like this:
The pic centers on cousins from New York, Vincent and Anton, who are players in the high-stakes game of High Frequency Trading, where winning is measured in nanoseconds. Their dream is to build a fiber-optic cable straight between Kansas and New Jersey, making them millions. But nothing is straightforward for this flawed pair. Anton is the brains, Vincent is the hustler, and together they push each other and everyone around them to the breaking point.
That movie doesn’t sound like anything special, but ASkars is still going to win every single acting award imaginable when he tells reporters, “After I went bald for this role, I only got 298 numbers a night from humans who want to do me. I usually get 300.” Nobody has struggled for his art the way ASkars is struggling for his art.