I guess the NFL has had its fill of controversy this season, because People confirms that “good boy” Goldendoodle, Justin Timberlake, will in fact provide the halftime show entertainment at the 2018 Super Bowl on February 4 in Minneapolis. Justin announced the big news last night a video of him and NBC “good boy” chocolate lab, Jimmy Fallon humping each other at dog park with glee.
Here’s the announcement:
— Justin Timberlake (@jtimberlake) October 23, 2017
Bad dogs! Bad! Please, somebody turn a hose on these two. Justin is the anti-Beyoncé. Beyoncé ruffled feathers and made folks nervous with her Formation performance in 2016. Can’t have any of that type of business, not this year. And Lady Gaga is another troublesome woman who made people nervous by jumping off things clumsily at 2017’s show. But if NBC or the NFL think we are going to forget how Justin threw Janet Jackson under the bus back in the heady days of Nipplegate 2004, they are sorely mistaken. Blowing their dog whistle and calling Justin over to perform at halftime again (Janet remains banned 4 lyfe) is a big middle finger to those of us who thought what happened in 2004 was some next level bullshit for which she took all the heat. Here’s an interview with Justin where he sheepishly deflects any talk of Nipplegate (1:00 mark).
— SNF on NBC (@SNFonNBC) October 23, 2017
Pat Boone, I mean Justin says that he wants his performance to “unify”. The only way I’m going to feel unified or appeased by this performance is if Janet comes on as surprise guest, rips Justin’s Magic Mike tear away pants off and reveals his little Prince Albert pierced peen. If that happens, I might even switch over from the Puppy Bowl and watch football for 30 seconds! But probably not.