All the jilted members of Taylor Swift’s squad and her enemies were shitting themselves this week when word dropped that her next album is about how they’re a bunch of assholes. Taylor dropped a new song last night and – surprise! – it isn’t a song about how much of a fug bitch Katy Perry is. Instead, it’s about how her new boo (or an ex-boo) is so “gorgeous.” Gag.
Some think that Gorgeous could be about Tom Hiddleston, Joe Alwyn or Calvin Harris. But People says the song has to be about Joe, which is kinda narcissistic since Joe does the smize pout just like Taylor, and kind of looks like Taylor if she cut her hair like Florence Henderson in the early seasons of The Brady Bunch.
The song includes lyrics that show how Taylor is so bashful and in love:
“You’re so gorgeous/ I can’t say anything to your face/ ‘Cause look at your face/ And I’m so furious/ At you for making me feel this way/ But what can I say?/ You’re gorgeous”
She can’t look at your face ‘cuz she’s too busy penning a song that will end up on Spotify’s top 10 list from people listening to it on repeat to find clues about who she’s singing about! Taylor’s line in the song about “ocean blue eyes” is making everyone think it’s 100% about Joe. But my personal favorite line is the one where she gives a shout out to us spinster cat ladies:
“Guess I’ll just stumble on home to my cats, alone, unless you wanna come along.”
Well, good thing for Meredith Grey and Olivia Benson, Taylor doesn’t bother them anymore after coming home since she has Joe now, or does she?
“You make me so happy it turns back to sad/ There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have.”
I mean, is that a Taylor Swift lyric or just my mental state devouring an entire order of chips and salsa at Chili’s?