The Internet Hatched A Melania Trump Body Double Conspiracy Theory

October 19, 2017 / Posted by:

There’s been a fascinating rumor or, conspiracy theory if you will, floating around Twitter that Melania Trump ain’t always who she seems to be. It all began when a keen-eyed skeptic noted that the woman standing next to Trump during a speech didn’t look quite right. According to the New York Daily News, Zapruder film levels of evidence was posted to Twitter by a guy named Joe Vargas, AKA BuyLegalMeds.com.

The Washington Post reports:

Joe Vargas speculated on Twitter that the woman standing next to President Trump as he prepared to travel to a Secret Service training center in Maryland — call her Woman X — was not, in fact, Trump’s wife, Melania. It was instead some mystery woman, outfitted with big sunglasses and long hair (a wig????) and told to stand next to the president. “Mind blowing,” Vargas said.

Well, shit. Joe may be onto something here! That face looks fake as fuck. Also, who does that? Other than a Carmen Sandiego cosplayer? Who wears giant sunglasses and a super suspicious looking trench coat if it’s not a robot or a secret spy who’s kidnapped the real Melania and given her the old Face/Off treatment. Is it really Caitlyn Jenner and she only said she hated Trump now to throw us off the case?!

Want more proof? Detective Joe has done the work.

See, how it looks like the nose is attached to the glasses like Groucho specs?!

I’m a natural born skeptic. I like science and hard evidence and multiple sources and all that shit. So when I see something on Twitter that smells funky as hell, I’m quick to dismiss it. Especially if the primary source is “BuyLegalMeds.com”. But I have to admit, I got caught up for a minute. It was so juicy that I put aside my Detective LaToya magnifying glass and jumped right on the MELANIA HAS A BODY DOUBLE bandwagon. The reason this theory is so exciting is because, at this point, there is nothing the Trumps can do that would be a surprise.

Too bad the FAKE NEWS Washington Post had to shit all over the fun. They actually ripped Joe’s theory (and those of other internet sleuths) to shreds by showing other pictures of Melania from the same event from different angles. They looked at her nose carefully and noted a consistent bump (looks like Melania’s due for a tune up) and debunked a height discrepancy theory by pointing out that Melania’s wearing flats in one picture and pumps in another. Still, the thought that Trump might have been brought down by such a stupid stunt, one that wasn’t going to hurt a single person, was so delicious it fed my petty ass for at least an hour.

Pic: YouTube

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