The librarians of Invercargill, New Zealand who finally put the Kartrashians out of business (I wish) and blew those fame whores off the edge of the earth with their pose game!
Two months ago, The Hollywood Reporter let us know that it’s been a decade since our long-suffering international nightmare of soil jelly asses, baby whore whisper voices and SALAD!!! has infected our souls. THR devoted an entire cover to Pimp Mama Kris and her half-dressed koven making the color beige look exciting and full of life. (If Kendull Jenner was able to feel emotions on the inside, she’d probably still be traumatized by Khlozilla rubbing that sascrotch against her arm.)
The Kardashian decade: How a sex tape led to a billion dollar brand. 10 years after @KUWTK premiered, the stars and producers of the megafranchise (nine TV spinoffs, hundreds of millions of dollars earned) reveal the secrets of its improbable explosion into the zeitgeist. Hit the link in profile for more. Photo: @millermobley
While most of us looked at that unholy “resting after a family orgy” picture and immediately doused our screens with holy water and cleansed our eyes with sage smoke, a group of librarians from Invercargill, New Zealand saw that Ambien overdose of a cover and just knew that they could do it better (not that it’s hard). And they did! Bonnie Mager, the digital communications manager of Invercargill City Libraries, told Buzzfeed News that her team wanted to do something that’d get their library some attention.
“We picked that photo to spoof because it’s iconic and also we thought how funny would that look with ordinary people in it. We decided the boys needed to be in the most sexualised positions, for both humour and to show how silly it would be to pose males like that. The girls just went with who had the most accurate clothing to match those people.
We create so much original content that we love, and we can never predict which will go viral and which won’t. The reactions have been so positive. People love the humour of it.”
You would think that since Bonnie Mager works in a place of words, she would be a masterful speller, so it’s kind of shocking to see that she spelled “dreadful” as i-c-o-n-i-c. But what’s really iconic is the librarians of Invercargill upgrading that drab cover of The Hollywood Reporter. That raised thigh. The coquettish shoulder action. The smoldering. If that picture is hanging anywhere in the Invercargill City Libraries, then their librarians must be real busy from shushing the slobbering and howling genitals who are having a natural reaction to that pic.
And it goes without typing, but the Dewey Decimal number of 069 now leads to that issue of The Invercargill Reporter.