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October 2, 2017 / Posted by:

Puff-o-Fruit!

Solely based on the opinions of the fuckwad bullies who messed with me in school, I was the biggest puff-o-fruit to come out of the 1980s. But the joke is on those stupid pieces of ugly dumb trash, because the biggest puff-o-fruit to come out of the 1980s was Puff-O-Fruit! Puff-O-Fruit comes from the land of Swedish Fish and HGTV stars, Canada, so that may be the reason why I never heard of it until a reader slid it into my inbox.

According to them, Puff-O-Fruit was basically what was born after a Hostess Fruit Pie picked up a strudel one night, bareback boned it and busted a raw fruity nut up into its strudel guts. Puff-O-Fruit was a pastry sandwich filled with fruit and cream. Oh, the 1980s, a beautiful time when our Northern neighbors could easily pick up a pastry and fruit cream sandwich without worrying about having to make their own using pre-made pastry dough, Cool Whip and Smuckers.

And as much as I wish I could’ve eaten a Puff-O-Fruit, I’m glad they didn’t sell it in my hometown. Because if they did, the bullies would’ve definitely sung the Puff-O-Fruit theme song whenever I strolled on by.

Pic: YouTube (For Lesley)

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