Archives: October 2017

Night Crumbs

October 31, 2017 / Posted by:

Kelly Ripa was on The Tonight Show and told a story about how her teen daughter called her and told her to take down an old picture she posted on Instagram. Kelly took it down, but then let a kid know who the real boss is by showing it on The Tonight Show. Kelly’s daughter probably fought the urge to curse her mom out with emojis and instead Googled the important question: “If I emancipate from my parents, will I still get my trust fund?”Celebitchy

Three seconds after St. Angie Jolie dropped that ice cream spoon into the trash, minions from the Catholic Church fished it out, and it’s now hanging in one of the Vatican Museums – Lainey Gossip

And three seconds after that first picture was taken, the real Miss Extra, Mariah Carey, snatched that queen’s crown and sash – Towleroad

Since Camille Grammar’s got that Kelsey settlement money to protect, she better get the prenup of all prenups – Reality Tea

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Production Has Stopped Indefinitely On “House Of Cards”

October 31, 2017 / Posted by:

At the end of last season on House Of Cards (MAJOR SPOILER ALERT), Frank Underwood (played by increasingly icky Kevin Spacey) is no longer in charge and watches the White House from the outside in a hotel room. Change the word “White House” with “House Of Cards set,” and you may as well have Kevin’s career right about now.  Continue reading

It Looks Like Kim Kardashian May Have Never Actually Used Fit Tea

October 31, 2017 / Posted by:

It would be rude for us to sit here and question the “talent” any of the Kardashians have. They make fancy kitchen salad eating and Instagramming about Fit Tea look like a downright art form! Except a deleted Keeping Up With The Kardashians scene shows leading Fit Tea hawker Kim Kardashian may have never even tasted the stuff. Quelle whorreur! Continue reading


Open Post: Hosted By The Property Brothers As The Wonder Sisters

October 31, 2017 / Posted by:

You’re either reaching for a bottle of Visine’s holy water drops, because your eyes need cleansing after laying them on that unholy sight of fuck effort drag, an F minus tuck game and Control Top L’Eggs. Or you’re reaching for the industrial-strength Morton brand of smelling salts, because nothing gives you the head-to-toe vapors like seeing the panty cream-inducing sight of two Fun House Mirror Jonas Brothers in fuck effort drag and Control Top L’Eggs. Hey, what’s one man’s Control Top L’Eggs nightmare is another man’s Control Top L’eggs wet fantasy.

The current reigning sweethearts of HGTV (now that the Fixer Upper couple are busting out of there), The Property Brothers, did a little renovating on themselves for Shallowqueen by dragging it up as Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman (see: Drew Scott, on the left) and Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman (see: Jonathan Scott, on the right). The half-melted Jesus wax figurines stuffed their Canadian sausages into Rite-Aid Wonder Woman costumes for LIVE with Kelly and Ryan’s Halloween episode. Kelly and Ryan, who wore 12 costumes total, also Wonder Woman’d themselves along with Gelman and that one pepaw. I love how Ryan is really butching it up hardcore. Ryan may be in drag, but he’s still a NASCAR-loving, Budweiser-guzzling, pussy-destroying heterosexual straight bro.

And once you’re done with that bottle of smelling salts, send it to me via drone. I need to shove several bottles up my nostrils before I have a full-body O from seeing Jonathina Scott poke at Michaela Gelman’s Wonder Woman bulge (at the 1:18 mark).


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