Yet Another Kardashian Baby Is Headed Our Way

September 26, 2017 / Posted by:

Just one more Kartrashian pregnancy and we’ve got ourselves The Four Horsemen….Unless one of them is pregnant with twins. SANTO DIOS!

The toilet that Ian Somerhalder flushed Nikki Reed’s birth control pills down must’ve been nowhere near Calabasas. Because there’s something in the water in fame whore ground zero and it’s not birth control pills. (It’s the fertile seed of Satan that Pimp Mama Kris puts into the water bottles of every one of her koven members.) UsWeekly, People and TMZ all say that yet another junior koven member is growing inside the body of another Kartrashian and this time it’s Khlozilla. The wombs belonging to Kendull Jenner and The Slow One must be feeling a lot of pressure from PMK, because all they need to do is get a fetus in them, and then all of her girls will be pregnant, and then she’ll be able to take over the world with her army. Blehehehehehe!

Sources tell TMZ that 33-year-old Khloe’s 26-year-old boyfriend, NBA player Tristan Thompson, humped a fetus into her the natural way. She apparently didn’t use IVF or anything. She’s about three months along and doesn’t know if she’s having a boy or girl yet. Another source spit out a river of bullshit by saying that Khloe wanted to wait to announce the news, because she didn’t want to snatch the knocked up spotlight from her little sister Kylie Jenner. Please, PMK had this all scheduled so that she could hit us all with the ONE, TWO, WHY?!

“Yes, Khloe and Tristan are expecting and they are absolutely thrilled. This isn’t something they were in a rush to announce to the whole world, and it’s only been in just the past week or so that they’ve felt comfortable telling most of their inner circle. Things were complicated a bit by Kylie’s announcement as they don’t want to be seen as intruding on that moment for her but it is now reaching a point where Khloe doesn’t want to be openly lying to people, and just staying quiet isn’t going to work anymore.” 

A hot cloud of chemicals must be floating above Kim Kartrashian’s house from her seething over Kylie and Khloe upstaging her.

Kylie is 5 months pregnant. Kim’s surrogate is reportedly also 5 months pregnant. And Khloe is 3 months. So that might make you think that we’re going to get back-to-back-back Kardashian babies, but Wookieepedia tells me that wookees stay pregnant for nearly a year. So we’ll have a lot of breathing time between the second and third Kardashian babies.

And I was joking when I said that one of them might be pregnant with twins. We all know whose cooze the fourth horsemen horsebaby is going to gallop out of:

krisjennerfourthbaby

Since the Kartrashians are multiplying at an alarming rate, does anyone know if there’s an app where you can book confessional time with a priest in advance? I want to confess all my sins (it’s going to take a while) before we all completely drown in the geyser of excitement that Pimp Mama Kris is going to squirt out from getting people to pay attention to her family again.

Pics: Wenn.com, E!

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