The 11th Round Of “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” Brought To You By Jennifer Lawrence’s Unenthusiastic Handjob

September 26, 2017 / Posted by:

Jimmy Kimmel has been working tirelessly to educate people and politicians about healthcare lately on Jimmy Kimmel Live!. And last night, he gave a real example of the importance of good healthcare by showing celebrities receiving third degree burns from Twitter.

This time the internet has come for a group that includes Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Watson, and Jake Gyllenhaal, who according to one stranger in the internet has the most punchable face of all time. They also accuse him of having a “pug face.” Jake Gyllenhaal I understand, but what kind of monster wants to punch a pug in the face?!

As seen above, someone who goes by the name @WillFreakin-something is willing to put his money down on a guess that Jennifer Lawrence  gives really unenthusiastic handjobs. JLaw jokes that he’s right. That’s not surprising. Darren Aronofsky has made it very clear that he’s the one enthusiastically jacking-off Jennifer.

There were a couple good ones in there. Jim Parsons does look like a ventriloquist dummy that came alive to become a sex offender. But the tweet about Jennifer Aniston being a bag of flour is a gross mischaracterization. Flour can be made into bread, pasta, tortillas, cereal, cookies, pizza dough. Flour has range.

Out of all the famous people involved, Gwyneth Paltrow might have gotten the most impossible request:

gwynethsteaming

Poor @adicloud – they’re clearly not familiar with the target of their mean tweet. If Gwyneth isn’t telling anyone who will listen that she got her vagina steamed, did she even get it steamed at all? Technically she would have, but the real goal is to brag about it.

Pic: YouTube

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