Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Cracker Jack Cereal!

If there is a heaven, I hope I get in (cut to the bouncer at heaven’s gates cackling after saying, “I can’t wait to tell that hellbound bitch that he’s not on the list!“), because the welcome breakfast in the orientation room definitely consists of all the cereals from the 80s and 90s that we didn’t get a chance to eat since there were so fucking many of them. Cracker Jack Cereal is one of those.

Mr. Breakfast says that the Ralston-Purina company made a cereal version of Cracker Jack in 1983. Just like Cracker Jack, the Cracker Jack Cereal had a prize in every single box. This was before those Cracker Jack whores got cheap and replaced their luxurious prizes with a digital code to download some stupid game nobody wants to play. And like most 80s cereal commercials, the Cracker Jack one made it seem like its secret ingredient was crack, because these kids are way too hyper for morning times.

Ralston-Purina was mostly known for making dog and cat food, and so I’m not saying that Cracker Jack Cereal was probably back stock of doggy dry food covered with corn syrup, but if it was, I still would.

Pic: Pinterest

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