Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 19, 2017 / Posted by:

The Dadbag!

Are you a skinny hipster who looks down at your mega flat stomach in disgust and wish that you had a gorgeous mound of hairy chunk? Well, you can get one the natural way by becoming a blogger. But shoving microwaved Panda Express leftovers and spoonfuls of Halo Top (covered with Hershey’s syrup, Cool Whip and candied pecans to make that diet ice cream taste better) into your mouth while sitting in front of your computer day in and day out takes serious hard work and not everybody has that kind of discipline. So if you’re a lazy skinny bitch who doesn’t want to do the work needed to get yourself a luscious gut like a strip mall accountant, an art director from London has created the perfect bag that will take you from current day Chris Pratt to 2009 Chris Pratt.

Albert Pukies (his government name, I’m sure), wrote a post on Bored Panda asking for investors to make his dream of selling his Dadbag to the masses come true. Hipster law states that in order to become a board certified hipster, you need to wear at least two pieces of irony at all times. The Dadbag has hipsters covered, because it gives them a hairy dad gut and it’s a fanny pack. The Dadbag will easily hold a bottle of microbrewed IPA-scented lube, which you’ll need when a fellow hipster picks you up and wants to lick and hump on your faux gut.

#dadbag

A post shared by The Dadbag (@thedadbag) on

Albert Pukies tells Mashable that he’s already gotten responses from manufacturers. If he gets the money he needs, he’ll poot out six styles:

dadbod2017two

I, for one, can’t wait to see a skinny hipster working the Dadbag in the streets so that I can lift up my shirt and say to them what a snobby rich bitch carrying a real Louis Vuitton purse says to a bitch carrying a fake one: “I guess not all of us are lucky enough to be blessed with the real thing.” And I also can’t wait for Albert to expand his line by making a FUPA coin purse.

Pics: Instagram, The Dadbag

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