Night Crumbs

September 7, 2017 / Posted by:

Jennifer Lawrence showed up to the UK premiere of mother! in a Versace dress that resembles an old fishing net, and now I can’t stop picturing her saying, “I’m just like, a totally chill mermaid who fish-farts and stuffs her face with kelp” – Celebitchy

Jaden Smith’s girlfriend sounds like she went to the same deep-thinking famous people offspring school as Jaden (which is to say, they’re perfect for each other) – Lainey Gossip

Maybe it’s because I need new glasses, but the top of Poppy Delevingne’s dress looks like a haute couture skin disease – Drunken Stepfather

Ponies are keeping Kim Richards sober. Is there anything ponies can’t do? – Reality Tea

In “2017 is still a crazy upside-down nightmare” news, Manson Family member Leslie Van Houten has reportedly been recommended for parole – Pajiba

Nicole Scherzinger is living that bikinis-and-boats life – Hollywood Tuna

Here’s the first trailer for Lady Gaga’s Netflix documentary – Towleroad

I know pool floaties can’t technically look embarrassed, but I’d say the one getting dragged into Jenna Dewan Tatum’s Instagram THOT-ing comes pretty close – Popoholic

Stephanie Seymour got her supermodel nipples out for Love magazine – (NSFW) The Nip Slip

I’m really glad to see that Jennifer Aniston’s clip-on bangs and suburban mom wardrobe from We’re the Millers are still able to get work – Just Jared

Veep will be done after the seventh season – Jezebel

Leslie Jones celebrated her birthday in the same way I’d like to celebrate mine; by busting out some dance moves in my bathrobe while holding a piece of cake – Boy Culture

The newest bachelor for The Bachelor has been revealed. Did you guess  a white dude with brown hair? Close – he’s a white dude with slightly grey brown hair! – Popsugar

Ten points to Ricky Martin for shaking his ass to “Old Time Rock and Roll” on Lip Sync Battle, but I’ve got to deduct points for doing it in tight shorts instead of the traditional butt-hugging briefs – SOW

Pic: Wenn.com

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