Way back when, Charles Dickens penned A Tale of Two Cities, and it was all about how Parisians liked to bare their boobies in public, and Londoners preferred to keep them hidden behind turtlenecks like Diane Keaton in, well, just about anything. At least that’s what I think it was about.
Either way, Duchess Kate fumed way back in 2012 when French rag Closer Magazine published super-sketchy n00dz of her sunbathing topless in the south of France. Considering the most exciting thing she’d done at the time is show off that rock of Princess Diana’s that Prince William gave her as an engagement ring, Kate sent her lawyers (and probably a few of the Queen’s corgis for good measure) over to Paris to protect the sanctity of her privacy. She had a reputation to uphold! Well, Duchess Kate’s legal nipple fight is finally over.
The NY Daily News reports that, after several years, Kate has won! And thank GAWD! Bitch needed the cash. You don’t know how much it costs to keep that Royal weave in check and pay off all the snitches when William goes on vacation.
Kate is expected to rake in € 50,000 (or $59,500) from her lawsuit winnings, and apparently Prince William is expected to get the same. WTF?! What did he do? It was her royal nipples on display, not his sword of Windsor! I want retroactive criminal acts. French photogs, until you go back with your telephoto lenses and get high-res shots of William’s wiener from 30 miles away, you better not even THINK of shooting that check across the English Channel!