Angelina Jolie wants so badly to be likeable, carefree and fun. Too bad being Angelina Jolie makes all that nearly impossible. While promoting her latest Debbie Downer of a film First They Killed My Father, Angie has been reluctantly giving interviews. As we know, long gone is the fun and flirty Angie who once famously made out with her brother on the red carpet and carried a vial of her (second ex) husband’s blood around her neck. Today’s Angie can’t even buy her kids a hot dog without being followed around by a sad trombone.
Wrist to brow, Angie reveals to The Telegraph that she thinks being single sucks.
“It’s been difficult. I don’t enjoy being single. It’s not something I wanted. There’s nothing nice about it. It’s just hard. Sometimes maybe it appears I am pulling it all together, but really I am just trying to get through my days. Emotionally it’s been a very difficult year and I have had some other health issues. So my health is something I have to monitor.”
According to The Telegraph, Angie’s not joking when she says her health is suffering.
The last 12 months have clearly taken its toll on the 42-year-old actress, who is looking pale and gaunt.
Hmm, I’m trying hard to think of a time over the last 12 years that she didn’t somehow fit that description. Health issues aside, the good news is that Angie is really trying to lighten up, for the sake of the children.
“We tend to get so stressed that our children feel our stress when they need to feel our joy. Even if you are going through chemo, you need to find the ability to love and laugh.” She pauses and smiles. “It may sound like a postcard, but it’s true.”
Angie sounds like a real shitty pen pal. “Greetings from beautiful Cancun! Sorry you have cancer. Chemo sucks, but suck it up! Love, your pal Angie.” Angie says she’s taking cooking classes as a way to spend quality time with the chirrin. But guess what? She’s no good at that either (cue that sad trombone).
“But I am getting into it now. I am really trying, because I feel like if I cook, the kids can all hang out. Although they often take over and tell me that they can do it better.” She laughs.
Isn’t Angie a card? She’s probably terrified of the kitchen, with all it’s food and expectations lurking behind every corner. I’ll never forget the time she came over to my house for breakfast and touched a pancake with wonder and awe exclaiming “What is it’s purpose?” before floating out of the kitchen, suspended on a cloud of incredulity.
Angie says she’s ready to get back to work after taking off time to deal with pressing matters at home. While talking to The Hollywood Reporter, Angie says “I’ve taken over a year off now, because of my family situation, to take care of my kids.” Adding that she’s been “needed at home,” and that she hopes to work again in the coming months.
Angie says she’s working on a sequel to Maleficent, and that Cleopatra movie might still happen. Oh, that should go over a treat considering Hollywood’s persistence in whitewashing all the things. In the meantime, Angie gets to practice being a human person by trying to find the kitchen in the $25 Million Cecil B. DeMille mansion she just bought.