Archives: September 2017

Night Crumbs

September 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Prince Hot Ginge is in Toronto for the Invictus Games, which means that there’s a 100% chance that he and Meghan Markle will officially let the world know that they’re seriously doing each other full-time by posing for photographers at one of the events. Well, if I have to look at pictures of PHG and the luckiest human being in the world (well, second luckiest, the luckiest are the managers at In-N-Out), then at least I can drown my cold sorrows on pictures of PHG hugging on hot, sweaty athletes. PHG better give us at least one picture of him nipple bumping with one of those athletes while topless. It’s the last his ass can do! – Lainey Gossip

I almost slow clapped for Reese Witherspoon wearing one of Alexis Carrington’s funeral-going dresses, but then I stopped, because I needed to use my hands to put over my mouth as I heaved at those ivory shoes – Celebitchy

I think David Foster is way too busy slapping his pepaw peen against Katharine McPhee’s cooch to care about Yolanda Foster saying that he dumped her because of her Lyme disease – Reality Tea

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The Apokalypse Is Upon Us: Kylie Jenner Is Reportedly Pregnant

September 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Do you hear that? That sad little whimpering noise? It’s the sound of Tyga weeping softly and dabbing at his tears with a variety of repossession notices and PAST DUE bills. For it appears another rapper has done what he didn’t do, which is set his bank accounts up for life (or at least 18 years) by knocking up millionaire makeup mogul Kylie Jenner.

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Netflix Isn’t Happy About That Peen In “Maya The Bee”

September 22, 2017 / Posted by:

The real tale as old as time around kids cartoons is the one where countless smartass illustrators take out frustrations/get some LOLs by drawing inappropriate shit in your three-year-old’s favorite show. So it should not come as a shock that a big ol’ illustrated sausage found its way into Maya the Bee. And Maya’s bosses at Netflix ain’t happy about it.

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Open Post: Hosted By Liam Gallagher Being Forced To Make His Own Tea

September 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Expecting a Gallagher brother to bring a bit of sunshine to the world is a bit like expecting Pete Doherty to lead this weekend’s Sunday School class; not likely to happen. With that being said, you might want to remain seated for the following. Because watching Liam Gallagher looking like a lobotomized elephant as it works its way around the kitchen making tea is such an unexpected ray of light.

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Darren Aronofsky Responds To CinemaScore’s F Grade For “Mother!”

September 22, 2017 / Posted by:

If I’m to take anything away from Requiem for a Dream (you know, besides drugs are bad), it’s that Darren Aronofsky makes whatever film he wants to make, no matter how fucked up or weird, and doesn’t care. Most of the time Darren’s bonkers movies are well received. And sometimes – cough mother! cough – they’re not.

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