“I’ll let you in on a little secret; if you smell citrus on this hand, it didn’t come from a tube of Bath & Body Works lotion” – is what I like to think Jada Pinkett Smith just said in that picture above.
Grapefruiting – it’s so hot right now! I learned about grapefruiting from former Hot Slut Auntie Angel and her extremely educational produce section-inspired blowjob tutorial, in which you cut a hole in a grapefruit, slip it on the dick of your choice, and juice that ‘fruit like you just got a job at the Tropicana factory. Some people have learned the valuable skill of grapefruiting after watching Tiffany Haddish’s character demonstrate her technique in Girl’s Trip. Or if you’re the type of person to get curious and stick your penis in fruit, then grapefruiting might be old hat for you.
Grapefruiting totally seems like the kind of semi-kinky shit Jada Pinkett Smith would brag about having surprised Will Smith with in the bedroom (or whoever Jada swapped with that night, if you choose to believe that urban legend). As it turns out, you can call Will Smith Mr. Fresca, because he’s known about grapefruiting for years.
“That’s one of my favorite scenes. But you know, that technique’s been around for a while! It’s been around for a minute. And Will was the first one to tell me about it years ago. 10 years ago! I was like, ‘Are you trying to tell me something?'”
But who introduced Will Smith to grapefruiting? Is that the kind of stuff they teach in those special high-level classes at the Scientology compound in Florida?
There was a story a few months ago that all of Jada and Will’s kids had moved out of their house. Jada later clarified that 16-year-old Willow Smith still lives at home. Until the day Willow moves out, she’s going to avoid looking directly at the kitchen table fruit bowl. You don’t want to risk a two-hour dry heave session by realizing the grapefruit that was there a minute ago has all of a sudden suspiciously gone missing.