Taylor Swift Spent 6 Months In Hiding For What?

August 30, 2017 / Posted by:

Did you know that Taylor Swift has been in self-imposed exile for 6 entire months? Here I thought she had been Taylor Swifting about town as usual. But no, according to People magazine, before her recent rebirth she’d been in hiding, coiled up like a snake, lying in wait, until just the right time to jump out and scare us all with her newfound ferocity.

We only saw the odd glimpse of Taylor, like Taylor sneaking into a private jet with her current boyfriend Joe Alwyn. Gome were the near-daily pap walks outside of her New York City home or strolls along the beach with whatever British boyfriend she was dating at the time. Well there’s a reason, and it was completely intentional. A source says:

“She felt like her personal life was spinning out of control. It was draining her and she needed to disappear to reinvent herself. It was time to change things up and take another approach.”

How does new Taylor differ from old Taylor? What metamorphosis was she able to achieve after spending 6 grueling months in the bad bitch incubator? According to People, she now “scathes.” She also “satirizes herself” and “hits back at her haters” (most notably The Wests). Ooh, how scintillating!

Confession time. I have, until now, successfully avoided knowing much of anything about Taylor Swift. If she was a drug, I’d guess she’d be a single 100mg ibuprofen; something the school nurse or a flight attendant would feel comfortable giving you. Please indulge my metaphoric tendencies a moment. In this scenario, David Bowie is really good acid, Prince is Ecstasy, Billie Holiday is a ½ a Xanax and a martini, and Freddie Mercury is shrooms followed by 2 lines of coke. You know, the good stuff.

According to People, a source says “She is a master at reinventing herself,” but compared to “good stuff” artists of reinvention like Madonna, Bowie and the Beatles? I don’t know. I watched the video for Look What You Made Me Do“, and it looks like Taylor spent the last six months watching episode after episode of Gossip Girl, practicing Blair Waldorf faces in the mirror and doing eyebrow calisthenics. Taylor’s “reinvention” just seems like switching your ibuprofen from pills to gel caps.

Pic: Instagram

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