Michael Phelps Has Spawned Again

August 29, 2017 / Posted by:

Last month, Michael Phelpsraced” a shark, aka cheated us out of a Man vs. Nature-style super-race by swimming next to a cheap CGI shark. Little did we know that while Michael was swimming on his own (cue up the Robyn), his sperms were racing each other to his wife’s fallopian tubes.

Earlier today, Michael Phelps announced on Instagram that his wife, former Miss California USA Nicole Johnson, was pregnant with their second kid. Former Chico’s spokesmama Debbie Phelps is going to be a grandma again! Congrats, Debbie – go ahead and bust out your special occasion swing coat and statement necklace.

In true famous person tradition, the news was announced with many pictures of Nicole’s pee stick.

Number 2 on the way!!!! So excited!! Wonder if it's a boy or a girl??

A post shared by Michael Phelps (@m_phelps00) on

Even little 15-month-old Boomer Phelps got in on the pregnancy test shenanigans.

So excited to see what mama is having!! Do I get to have a brother or a sister?!?

A post shared by boomer phelps (@boomerrphelps) on

Phelps, are you new to the famous person Instagram game? All those piss stick pics, and not one time did they tag the brand! What was it, First Response? EPT? New Choice? Accu-Clear? Generic shoplifted from the local Rite Aid? I know it’s not Clearblue, because the lid ain’t blue. But also, because I’m almost positive there’s a famous person law that states you can’t Instagram your Clearblue piss stick and not tag the picture #ClearblueConfirmed. I mean, it’s not as if Michael Phelps and his family are too good for sponsored content:

There’s no word on when Michael Phelps’ next dolphin pup will be born. I really just can’t wait to see what they name it. Boomer Phelps sounds like the name of a dude who runs a not-exactly-legit bar in Panama City Beach. If their newest baby is a boy, I hope they stick to the nickname-as-a-real-name theme and call him Shorty or Dude. Even if they don’t take my suggestion, that’s a free business name for anyone out there. You can’t not have a good time at Boomer and Shorty’s.

Pic: Wenn.com

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