And finally, we have an answer for the question: Did Taylor Swift shamelessly rip-off Beyonce’s “Formation” video? Yeah, no. Beyonce would never sit on such a cheap Hobby Lobby-looking gold spray-painted amateur woodworking project of a throne. And that’s just the start of this mess!
Much as anticipated, Taylor Swift debuted the video for her 16-year-old-who-didn’t-get-a-convertable-for-their-birthday anthem, “Look What You Made Me Do” last night during the MTV VMAs. Luckily, her nemesis Katy Perry had nothing to do with it. Katy didn’t end up sharing the stage with Taylor; hell, she didn’t even have to awkwardly introduce it.
We finally get to see Taylor Swift (New Taylor, because remember, the Old Taylor is dead). And…I’m sorry, I lost focus for a second. I think I might have sustained some sort of mild brain injury from all the heavy-handed imagery Taylor was throwing at my face in this video. Here it is, in all its “I’m so self-aware now” glory:
It starts off with a zombie Taylor crawling out of the cemetery near a creepy haunted mansion and “burying” the old, sweet Taylor (actually, Taylor from the 2014 Met Gala). Then you go inside and find Taylor luxuriating in a bathtub filled with diamonds (and one single dollar – how relevant). Just a casual diamond-soak, you know?
“LWYMMD” is allegedly about Kanye West, and there are some Kanye clues in the video, like Taylor holding a Grammy. But for the most part it’s all about Taylor. Huh, who could have ever guessed that Taylor would make it all about herself? Not I! There are so many New Taylors to keep track of. Like Dominatrix Taylor (Mistress First Base ONLY) who runs the build-a-friend factory where her squad members are made.
Or bank vault-robbing Taylor, which is sort of what I imagine you’d get if Suicide Squad was remade with Wild Wee Things.
There’s also a Celebrity Mess Taylor. The nerve of this girl, I swear: not only does she steal the sound and beat of “My Humps,” she also steals the shitty fake bangs off Fergie’s forehead!
Then, in what is clearly Taylor’s grandest TAKE BACK THE NARRATIVE moment, her lineup of male dancers rip off their jackets to show some glittery I (heart) TS shirts. I want to believe that’s a dig at the whole Tom Hiddleston thing, but who knows? Maybe Taylor gives those shirts to all the guys in her life?
Taylor also breaks it down with some dance moves in that scene. You know, Old Taylor and New Taylor have a lot in common; neither of them can fucking dance.
The video for “Look What You Made Me Do” ends with New Taylor and a group of Old Taylors dramatically hissing and fighting with each other. A bunch of Taylor clones that constantly feel personally attacked? It’s Taylor’s dream squad!