Open Post: Hosted By Nicki Minaj And Blac China Racing In Slutty Judy Jetson Frocks

August 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Fresh off Blac Chyna trying to steal Rob Kardashian’s leased Range Rover, MTV shows us Yo Gotti and Nicki Minaj are here to turn it all into fancy, shmancy art in the “Rake It Up” video. At least that’s what I think they’re doing? Well, this is a Nicki video. It’s not Louvre-style art. It’s a bunch of rubber-(barely) covered booty thangs gyrating in ways that would make the rakes in a normal backyard shed blush. So, like, the kind of art you see hanging on the walls of a Starbucks.

The whole video is currently exclusive to Tidal, which means we’ve only got clips. But that’s all we really need.

It starts out pretty simple: Nicki is here to prove all y’all’s parents wrong and show that money DOES grow on trees, and she’s here to rake it…yeah, you know where this is going. After working the rake pole like she’s in some airport adjacent “gentleman’s restaurant,” Nicki is off to the races. I still don’t really get why Blac is in this video. I get Nicki is probably getting tired of finding words to rhyme with MYX Moscato (on sale at New Hampshire Liquor Stores, Boston shoppers!), but she just says Chyna in that “Ima hiss this word even though there isn’t an ‘s’ in it” kinda way. You could easily give the people what they want and just do that with, I dunno…MARIAH?!?

Nicki seems pretty enthused to be racing Blac, but, girl, I’m onto you. The only reason you have her in that shiny, latex Barbarella getup is not because you just really like Jane Fonda after watching Grace & Frankie. It’s because that shit surely squeaks, and you want to hear if that huss tries to run off the Warner lot with so much as one of your Beats Pills!

Pic: Instagram

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