Katy Perry sent tongues wagging when she was spotted leaving an Ed Sheeran concert the other week by taking a ride on Orlando Bloom’s crotch rocket, I mean, motorcycle. Nothing gets straight white people more reared to hump on each other than a couple of hours swaying to Ed’s music, so nobody thought twice about it. But Katy is here to set the record straight! The Daily Mail reports she popped by SiriusXM’s Morning Mash Up radio show to say adults can love each other and hang out and not play hide the salami in Kitty Purry:
“I think people are in and out of your life and it’s nice to keep people you love around you. I think for me, it’s never so extreme. You know, when you get older, lines get blurred.”
Lines get blurred? That sure as shit sounds like the bird call of casual fucking, but maybe that’s just me. Anyway, Katy said she just doesn’t have time to deal with Legolas’s shit on a daily basis. Witness is on Code Blue, and she has to pump some final breaths into that crap:
“You know what, I’m really busy. I’m about to go on tour for another year, like I did, and get to play the new record Witness to everyone and connect with them on that level and I’m really excited about that.”
Glad someone is excited about that. And that isn’t all! She’s hosting the MTV Video Music Awards this Sunday where she’s either going to reconcile with Taylor Swift on stage or reenact the best slap scene since Dynasty went off the air. She’s also busy snatching all the talent budget from Lionel Richie, Keith Urban, and Charlie Puth on that American Idol reboot.
Katy! You best save some time for fucking, girl. Once you give up casual fucking other people, you end up, I dunno, munching on mannequin heads in Paris and instead fucking a hat on a boat as it goes down the Seine… that’s just what happened to Celine Dion when she became an adult. Actually, that sounds a lot better than taking Orlando’s peen. You do you you, girl!