Kylie Jenner better enjoy that stank show of hers while she can, because Pimp Mama Kris Jenner has the next Kardashian duo ready to take the mainstage: her melons! Fidget spinners are out, and Memaw mammaries are in! Just as Madonna and her birthday bazookas on center stage while she flubbed the words to her own song.
Anywho, Radar is out with a report saying the 61-year-old Kris is loving her svelte self – sponsored by Slim Tea, Kardashian Korsets, matcha, whatever salads those clowns are always eating on each episode of [insert Kardashian reality show here], and… am I leaving anything out? What better way to show off said slimmed down ways than Snapchatting and Instagraming it.
Only, a source says Kris might be moving past social media and get one of the 800 staff photographers the family has on retainer to get it placed in some artsy fartsy magazine. A source says:
“Kris gained a lot of confidence when she shared her holiday bikini photo on Instagram, and she wouldn’t be Kris Jenner without seeing how far she could push the boat out.”
Kris is so confident in her lady bits that she’s peddling that shit out to magazines expecting to rake in top dollar. She’s apparently scoping out the right photog and publication for her “tasteful but sexy” shoot. I hope this means Kris draped over a couch with her AARP card tastefully covering her cooch. Tasteful, sexy, and multitasking with some appropriate product placement!